Sitting down to write first thing in the morning is a joy altogether, doing so any other time is a joyous labor of love, but one which I am forever thankful God is giving me the opportunity to do.
My enthusiasm for getting up in the morning can depend on the temperature when I first open my eyes—of the atmospheric air, to be sure, but also of the emotional waters into which I am stepping. I laughed at myself this morning as I found myself probing around inside me doing a well-being check, much as a doctor does on the outside during a well-ness check, to gauge my overall health. My diagnosis was inconclusive, which means my emotions could sway me either way today.
For many years, my emotions were in the driver’s seat of my life. It was a scary, hair-pin turn aplenty ride. Crashes were frequent; near misses too many to count. Most of the time I was a wreck—pun fully intended. This did not make for a very smooth existence for me or those around me—namely, my family. I was not a “mean” emotional basket case, but one not easily or quickly set aright.
The month of January was normally a high crash-count month, partially season and weather related, with other conditions adding to the severity of the outcome. Depression was my chief immobilizer and one that was present year round; it merely kicked into high gear at certain times of the year. I know my experience is not unique, and I have a great deal of empathy for those who suffer with chronic depression. I also want to offer a few words of encouragement--not as a cure-all, but as a lifeline.
I thank God for the lifelines that have been thrown to me through the years, and the rescuers God has used to help secure me to the lifeline, to be drawn to Himself, when I could neither secure nor lift myself. Apart from the grace of God, I’m not sure how I got to where I am in one piece and with any sense of wholeness—scarred with cracks, but usable for His purposes.
There is not a neat and tidy formula for dealing with emotions any more than there is for dealing with life. However, there is help and there is hope; emotions, as is life, are God-given and best when God-driven. How do we access this truth and what effect can we expect it to have on our lives, in our struggles, and at where we find ourselves on a gray, cloudy, storm-threatening January day?
Over the next span of days—however many that may be, at this moment, I cannot tell you—I would like to touch on some possible answers to the question posed above, to encourage those of us who need an infusion of hope that God will make a way where there seems to be no way—out, up, through or around whatever it is that we are facing. Grace for today and hope for tomorrow.
Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13
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