Expectation grabs us right out of the womb and our training begins A few things occur as expected, but surprises rule the day. Children are a treasure chest full of the unexpected; I have one book written, and volumes in the hopper, to confirm my personal experience. As crass as it sounds, I’m afraid it is more true than not, that we are all schooled, from a very young age, in turning expectation into an art form. It becomes a way of life. Every day, we make demands on others and others demand from us. Some of us lean toward taking on responsibility, others on avoiding it. Nonetheless, the song and dance of life is performed by the dynamic duo of responsibility and expectation. I love the way Paul Young describes the starring role they play in daily life: “Responsibilities and expectations are the basis of guilt and shame and judgment and they provide the essential framework that promotes performance as the basis for identity and value.”
I am a performance-oriented person. Much of my life has revolved around the “get it right, do it right”standard of living that I have set for myself. On some days, my report card reads like that of a stellar student, on others, I am standing at the failure threshold, ready to drop out. When I’m up and running, getting things done in good order, I feel great. When I hit a wall—or one falls on me—I feel a little less inclined to post my picture on life’s success page. To ensure that my stress levels stay on the high side, I not only accept feeling responsible for my own stuff and state of well-being, but also for half the world’s. Actual responsibility or false responsibility--I’ll take either on without a second thought. It is small wonder that I am officially worn out, and frankly, I’m not sure what I have to show for my effort. I have filled up my time impressively, keeping busy with all sorts of tasks and duties—even throwing in a few fun activities, here and there. Despite regularly adjusting and reshuffling my priority list, I often wonder if I am making progress toward doing the right things for the right reasons.
I suppose the first question to ask myself is “What are the “right” things?” and then the second, “What are the right reasons?” What are my responsibilities in living life as a Christian, day in and day out? How do I find the right balance between doing and being, between performance and identity and value? Can I reframe my expectations or must I usher them out the door as a failed experiment in living?
Questions, questions, questions…what are the answers? How and where do I find them, and then, what do I do with them? These days I find myself more drawn to simplifying life than driven to complicating it. Instead of running at 100 miles an hour through each day, I’ve decreased my speed to a crawling 75 mph. As I have slowed down, the scenery and objects in it have become less of a blur; I am seeing some things more clearly, and noticing others for the first time. I am on a very interesting part of the home-bound journey, and more and more frequently, I can honestly say, thanks to God, “It’s all good.”
“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
1 Thess. 5:18.
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